Saturday, May 17, 2008

Dream

Dream

In the trapped darkness of ma loneliness heart and thoughts faded away….
I crack open a space in ma mind where I keep ma dreams…
Hidden and locked inside revealing bright colors and shatter paths
And sounds filled with laughter I sweep away those dreams like dust under the carpet…
Sometimes for the briefest of time they become Fantasies filled with life
But when I seal the crack I am left alone Trapped in the darkness
Struggling to hold a dream glowing and gone A lifeless dream scattered into the winds that howl.......

I miss you more than words can ever say
I'm going to need you more and more each day
Your words warm my soul
And reach out to my very core
I can lose myself in your eyes
And it breaks my heart to say "goodbye"
I wish you all the love and happiness this world can offer
As i move away from you further and further
Life without you is going to be as barren as a desert
Leaving me heartbroken and bereft of pleasure
The need to be with you becomes greater and greater
Till this desire can no longer get any bigger
I miss your smile, your charm, your humor
I miss the strength that has always sheilded me like an armor
I need you here to kiss away my tears
To erase my sorrows
I need you for all the tomorrows.....


Ritesh Kotian..................

Friday, May 16, 2008

Love beats


I am admitting that I am smitten…

And I am head over heals over this girl. I don't know who she really is even I don’t know de full name of her not even the birth year, and we have not even had a Blood relationship or any physical touché conversation. All i do is to sit and listen when she speaks, a sweet voice which spines in ma head and if i do speak, ma voice will never reach her like hers reaches mine. But do i want to? I am not sure. Moreover that sweet voice has kept me spell bound for the last couple of years. To be exact, since i landed in Pimpri. Ma way of traveling was bike from pimpri to pune an while travel with ma friend her musical voice ringing through ears.

This is not de 1st time I am going, I been there too with one friend, still remind a heavy drunken mind an asking for the address an name… could be bitten up there by local peoples or a watchman of building or could be behind de bar… but cant remove more time over place an we bagged came back to our home town.

Then de second attempt with one more friend…

An unfortunately we reach the same location an get de accrued address, could be wrong place but as far mind says would be same location, between the bloom of rain between doom I saw some one singing… Finally i realized that she can sing also. That too, not bad. (I for that matter, bray!) Half ma friends around me had a hypnotized look on their face which i didn't like at all. I was not sure if that was because of her or the song that she played on her radio. The sense of music was exactly like mine. And that laugh.. Awwoooo.. i envy all the guys who work with her who get the golden moments to share when she laughs.

She speaks good marathi. And i haven't heard anyone talking marathi so sweetly as she does. Ma friend said its because she is form pune or nashik or else she mixes English with marathi. I don't care if she mixes English with Pudina chutney. As long as its her, its good. I am almost on the verge of learning marathi so that i could follow her word by word.

I got really pissed off when de day i was not able to talk her or listen to her. I realized then that she has gotten into ma mind so much. I almost decided to do a Munna Bhai and go to her daddy’s office way and talk to her. But i basically being a coward, found hundred and one reasons to not to do so. What if she is Daughter? What if she has Relatives almost next to her? What if she has a lots of friends? What if she is the sister of a local goon? And more terribly, what if she is single and said OK for me? What will i do then? Questions are always easy to find. Its to find the answers that gives the problems.

So i decided to do what i can do best. Written a blog. Not that it will make a world of difference. I don't even know if she reads this blogs. And i don't have the guts to tell her to come and read ma blogs. She being a leading RJ of an FM radio might have many things in her mind other than reading ma stupid blogs.

But I am smitten by her….

hhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Ritesh .....