I have full faith and belief on you.

It hurts. I don"t want you to fix it for me in this moment. Just let me feel this pain so I can let it move through me in and out, away from ma heart. I am confused and scared and angry and full of sadness and grief. I know it will happen someday. I know I need to have patience but please don"t shush these emotions because you are scared for me and don"t know what else to say. Just validate ma feelings. I know soon I"ll wake up refreshed and renewed with more insight and a clear mind but today I am full of a heaviness that is taking every ounce of strength that I have. So I cannot be today what you want me to be.

Ma Dear Swituu… (Ma sweet Baby), everything you said the other day was so perfect. I have changed ……. But you think I have changed for you. No, that’s not true. But anyway I won’t give any explanation, because I am sure somewhere deep within you know how it is. Just want to say one last thing thank you for creating such a wide open space for ma feelings and for yours. I love you…..

I love you,
I cherish you,
you are perfect just as you are...
Yes, you are perfect just as you are FOR ME!!!
I believe in you
I have faith in you.
You are capable doing everything to make us happy and stay together.

You asked me many times, that I don’t have full faith or trust on you that you can built a better tomorrow for us. I had no answer infact that was something I never even thought in ma dream you asking me, when you know me to core. I not only love you for what you are but also for you have been what you where…… and I have full faith and belief on you.

I know I’ve let u down, I never meant to but it just did happened.

Just want to say one thing " The question is not what you look at, but what you see."

Everyday with every worthless word we get more far away, the distance between us makes it so hard and more and more difficult for me to explain things, it hurts but I guess it may be the only way.

I screw up one thing after another. Weather it’s me being too hyper, or too loud. I screws up so many things. I wish people didn’t think I was psycho. Yes, I am a psycho, Weirdo, insane. I wish so many things would change. But the littlest changed thing could change your whole life. You could be one breath away from your last. You could be one step away from falling. You can be one tear away from a breakdown.

Life is so weird….

dReAmS cAn oNLy bE dReAmS... NotHiNg mOrE... tHe MoRe yOu HoPe fOr, tHe hArDeR YoU"d FALL!!!!

ritesh kotian

I can’t seem to crush this nagging thought

I don’t know what to do…and say.. I have been feeling upset ….This is one of those times when you really kneel down in front of God close eyes and wish he could give you wings to fly…you must be thinking what’s wrong with this senti-mental guy…. But I can’t seem to crush this nagging thought from ma mind…. No, friends nothing wrong with me just am upset and worried because ma Honey , ma bachii… is unwell from past few days………I was talking with her on phone night and I could feel how unbearable was that for her…. Its hurting… Ma love caught up by cough and cold … its winter over approaching there in place … hmmmm…..could be the change of weather, an in a new atmosphere she is suffering from running nose, sore throat, bad cough and little fever with small pain in stomach …..Yesterday she had an awful headache was finding it difficult to talk also......I miss her to pieces, but not able to do anything…. Couldn’t sleep wholenight yesterday….. life is so disturbed suddenly … donno what to do???........No one around all alone she is, sick and tired……. she Msged me on the phone my heart was crying with the pain she was suffering …. I donno when I will be by her side taking care of her need….. I"m feeling crabby … God, please please send me to her…… or send her to me……….please u just have these two option…... no other way……and with a time limit …….please don’t take donkey years like we human beings……cant bear this anymore…. Please….Please Please Please Please take care of her God….. she got only you right now who can take care of her……I can’t say….. How I wish you"re by my side now….. I am crying silent in ma heart (without you knowing) I"m really too emotional. More than anyone I have known or read about. I have just learnt to hide it and she taught me to do that … but at this moment just cant control ma self…eyes filled with tears and now they are flowing non-stop... I know when you read this you will also get upset because I am worried and will immediately call me and say— hey dump!! Don’t worry I"ll will be ok……
Sweetheart, I cried for those time because no one out there with you to understands how you feel….. But I think that’s ok…… I know He up there can see everything….. you just be yourself and take care of yourself for my sake… eat food and take medicine on time….Just keep on holding to God"s unchanging hand. He will take care of you….till the time he wraps us together in the gold laced bag he named – MARRIAGE --- I will also be holding on ma faith that God will take away all the sufferings and will heal you and make you healthy soon-----

BIG BEAR HUGS N KISSES! DONT WORRY I WONT squeeze too tight! Praying for you your dump naughty senti ritesh !!!!

You Are The Moon --- With Mute Sound…..

Shadows all around you as you surface from the dark
Emerging from the gentle grip of night"s unfolding arms
Darkness, darkness everywhere, do you feel all alone?
The subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone


You don"t see what you possess, a beauty calm and clear
It floods the sky and blurs the darkness like a chandelier
All the light that you possess is skewed by lakes and seas
The shattered surface, so imperfect, is all that you believe


I will bring a mirror, so silver, so exact
So precise and so pristine, a perfect pane of glass
I will set the mirror up to face the blackened sky
So you can see your beauty every morning that you rise.

this blog have written long time back.. But never got a time to publish it... Ritesh K...