Love beats

I am admitting that I am smitten…

And I am head over heals over this girl. I don't know who she really is even I don’t know de full name of her not even the birth year, and we have not even had a Blood relationship or any physical touché conversation. All i do is to sit and listen when she speaks, a sweet voice which spines in ma head and if i do speak, ma voice will never reach her like hers reaches mine. But do i want to? I am not sure. Moreover that sweet voice has kept me spell bound for the last couple of years. To be exact, since i landed in Pimpri. Ma way of traveling was bike from pimpri to pune an while travel with ma friend her musical voice ringing through ears.

This is not de 1^st time I am going, I been there too with one friend, still remind a heavy drunken mind an asking for the address an name… could be bitten up there by local peoples or a watchman of building or could be behind de bar… but cant remove more time over place an we bagged came back to our home town.

Then de second attempt with one more friend…

An unfortunately we reach the same location an get de accrued address, could be wrong place but as far mind says would be same location, between the bloom of rain between doom I saw some one singing… Finally i realized that she can sing also. That too, not bad. (I for that matter, bray!) Half ma friends around me had a hypnotized look on their face which i didn't like at all. I was not sure if that was because of her or the song that she played on her radio. The sense of music was exactly like mine. And that laugh.. Awwoooo.. i envy all the guys who work with her who get the golden moments to share when she laughs.

She speaks good marathi. And i haven't heard anyone talking marathi so sweetly as she does. Ma friend said its because she is form pune or nashik or else she mixes English with marathi. I don't care if she mixes English with Pudina chutney. As long as its her, its good. I am almost on the verge of learning marathi so that i could follow her word by word.

I got really pissed off when de day i was not able to talk her or listen to her. I realized then that she has gotten into ma mind so much. I almost decided to do a Munna Bhai and go to her daddy’s office way and talk to her. But i basically being a coward, found hundred and one reasons to not to do so. What if she is Daughter? What if she has Relatives almost next to her? What if she has a lots of friends? What if she is the sister of a local goon? And more terribly, what if she is single and said OK for me? What will i do then? Questions are always easy to find. Its to find the answers that gives the problems.

So i decided to do what i can do best. Written a blog. Not that it will make a world of difference. I don't even know if she reads this blogs. And i don't have the guts to tell her to come and read ma blogs. She being a leading RJ of an FM radio might have many things in her mind other than reading ma stupid blogs.

But I am smitten by her….

hhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Ritesh .....

Confession..........

Confession.................

Sometimes I get confused that what should I believe……..I mean I strongly believe in destiny…..destiny which is made by god for us………destiny which is pre planned by Him……..destiny which always proves me wrong……..whenever I feel that everything is going wrong and now there’s no way than at that very moment He (God) sent someone for my help………I also get confused when I think about God and destiny side by side……..for me God is my provider…..He’s the only power which provide me love, strength to fight back in difficulties, my friends who are always there for me at my weaker stage, my family who’s my biggest strength, my will power and above all bless me with such wonderful parents, Sis and also my grandpa, however, he is not with me…….he is sitting up there with god seeing me with so much love in his eyes……but still something is missing……I can not find out that missing space in my life…….feeling as if m running for something……..may be running for success…….by God’s grace I have everything which is required by a person like love of all my loved ones, sound family, good friends, good education specially I’m proud of being a convent educated boy because my school was my base and helped me to make me confident and carry myself with dignity in this society………..I don’t know why I’m writing all this. Actually there are so many things which are going on in my mind right now but not getting an words to convert into words………and I myself don’t know what I want to write……..fine it’s more than enough now…..I can not control my emotions now…..actually I have seen so many dreams for me , my family and my grandpa that now I’m feeling as if I’m over stressed by my expectations from myself…..I have a lot of strength to fight back with complexes which r coming in my way these days……..I have lot of will power still left in me………..and it’s all because I personally believe that my biggest strength is my blind faith on my God………He have always blessed me with everything which I needed……..whenever I asked him to give me something he gave me in big quantities……….and that’s how my faith developed……n today for the first time time I’m really feeling guilty………..actually this time when I asked him for something he didn’t gave or I can say may be he’s delaying to give it at right time……….but this time I don’t know why I lost my patience and fought with Him(God)…….I said so many bad things to him……I said He don’t love me, however, somewhere in my sub-consciousness I knew that I’m doing wrong……..He love me……but I’m like that……I can not keep things within me………n now it’s around 4 months of guilt which I’m suffering from………..I said sorry to Him but I think He didn’t forgave me because I’m still waiting for him to wave his magic wand n bless me…………I know I’m expecting so much after committing a mistake……..but I just have Him to forgive me for all my mistakes and nourish me with my needs and selfish desires………….I can not expect anyone else for this………..and I believe that everyone of us have Him in us and if u people can help me out to come out of this feeling of guilt then please help me…………please forgive me………m asking u too 4 forgiveness of my mistakes as all of u have Him within u………….. I’m SORRY…….

Ritesh........