It was late night, as according ma daily updates I came home an had dinner near by 11.30pm, I get on to sofa an watching News near by sofa ma bed is ready, on one side ma eyes getting sleepy but even I feel some problems while taking breath. But this thing all ready happens me lots of time before… so dint wondered any thing big to happen… I Started to take breath faster an more faster, from mouth… even I cough twice a time so that ma heart keep pumping… could be Blood circulation is not reaching… but then too I dint feel good… an ma body temperature goes on high, an suddenly I feel whole home in faded… I can’t see the thing form ma naked eyes…I feel some on is sitting on ma chest an wants some to take away form me… I feel some thing is been changed… Some were the things are not going right… an suddenly I fall down to floor from sofa…I can see every thing is moving just only ma body, I can’t move some… I feel some one is sitting above me an pull me out…
Yes Yes… it was Death who Knocking on ma body…
This is some … conversation which took place in ma mind when I saw ma death in front of me….
Who is this? I am soni pari (the angel of death) let me come inside.
At once, I began to shiver As one sweating in deadly fever.
Please go away, O Angel of Death! Leave me alone; I'm not ready yet.
My family on me depends, Give me a chance, O please prepense!
The death knocked again and again,
Ritesh! I will take your life without any pain,
this your soul god requires, I come not with my own desire.
I began to cry, O Angel I am so afraid to die. Please don’t take me…
I am ready to give you gold and money, but don’t send me to grave.
Let me in, O Ritesh! The Angel said, open your eyes; get up from your bed, If you do not allow me in, I will walk through it, like a Jinn…
I am not ready please give me a chance, but I dare an open ma eyes an ready to fight with ma death, it’s not so easy to take away me form ma self… if me have a gun then I would be shoot your head!!
By now the Angel was sitting on ma chest, Saying, O Ritesh! Prepare for you doom.
Why are you afraid! Tell me O Ritesh, I came hear according to gods plan?
Come smile at me, do not be grim, and come be Happy to return to Him.
O Angel! I bow my head in confident an say I always pray to god every time, every ma wrong steps he supports me, he only gives me energy to fight, he only souls ma problems… From morning till dusk “I always remind ma god” Not even I care for ma health.
God's command I always obeyed, nor for every times a day but every day I prayed to give me more energy to support me, to show right path…
A ganpati came an gone an navratri came an gone, I given ma every efforts to as a social work I have help the peoples & committee. I gave every single time to god. Even I visited to temples when ma wish comes to truth, even I donated money in to PatiDaan box. Even for charities I have donated money, for making temples i have given… even for worship of others I fasted more then 10 months at that time I left ma wine for several time, an I dint done any thing wrong between in period not even flirting with women or any crime. I obey ma family suggestion, I gave money to hungry baggers in road or railway station, I respect older age peoples, even if visitors come to home I respect them, for poor I provide waters, an also help ma friends & relatives an certain time…
O Angel! I appeal to you, let ma life for some more years, I dint seen this beautiful world yet till. i have ma family, it’s ma responsible to see after them, me having lots of responsibility to took… yet till I am small age … please don’t take me...
Angel! I do what god demands, we cannot go against His commands.
Death is ordained for everyone, Father, mother, daughter or son.
I am afraid this moment is your last, Now be reminded, of your past,
There is no time for you to repent, I will take your soul for which I am sent...
I do understand your fears, but it is now too late for tears. You breaking your promises all your life, making smile more then you made cry, you have break a heart, due to you some one hurts, yours baby & you turning off your face, no no now this tears will not going to bring happens...
O Ritesh, you have done enough wrong thing in this small age…
the time when someone required you, at that time you use abuse words for them, you became selfish just among to know your self more, you consisted your self right an rather them proving all wrong. You were paradise for your self...
It’s really a worst thing to face your own death in front of your own eyes, The thing which I have written above Is not a dream or any infection. An this is not ma views or visual towards death… yes but this is what I really feel when I saw ma self facing death, when i saw ma own life is taking away from me, and I could not do any thing at that time, I could see the things moving, I could feel air touché ma body but cant feel at that movement. I could see ma mother sitting beside me, but when she touched me I could not feel that warmness, by the time ma mind working, i felt that every thing has been stopped, the blood inside was floating like blasted volcano running out from High range.
May be I was afraid of all this...
As days go by.... I feel ma life is getting more shorter an shorter...
Written Based of Truth which saw an feel... By ...Ritesh Kotian...
