God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change..

I have a lot to say and whenever I have a lot to say, I can’t manage to get it out…. What I call it short of words…. . Sometimes I wonder if I pay attention to words about myself because I am scared of testing myself…. Now here I remember the litmus test…..RED OR BLUE or Neutral….. My warnings say, "This is how I am." Too much on emotional edge….This is how I will be forever….I know there are certain things we have that we can never change about ourselves…..Things that define our persona…..when people ask about it we say….This is how I am --- Like it or leave it. Such affirmations do wonders at keeping me stagnant and hidden. Such statements give up hope before it has been given a second thought. Really these days I chew these thoughts a lot…. Donno why….?

The reality is that although this is who I am, that does not mean that this is how I will always be. Deep down yes, I will always be a cynical, sarcastic. But just because I am a lazy today does not mean I will be tomorrow. When I am unable to formulate an opinion or tell people how I feel, I feel incompetent. I think of the phrase, “Only you know yourself,” yet here I am, unable to talk about my thoughts, the very things that make me me!

Yesterday, I was talking with someone about how stressed I have been feeling. Generally I do really well under pressure. Lately, I just feel like breaking down. “Stop worrying,” was the advice I was given. I laughed and responded, “Okay.I will.” I hate it when people tell me to stop worrying. If it were that easy, I"d have done it by now. It sounds like they"re looking down on me, and they obviously just don"t get it. It"s frustrating to not be understood.

I got angry at the blasé attitude rooted in the response. It struck a chord. In the statement, “stop worrying,” I could hear my father’s words. I am okay. Not depressed. Just…. donno what. Recently someone was talking of how they are used to living their life in extremes. Either black or white. Happy or sad. AM just relating ma life with it… There was a day when if I wasn’t bouncing off the walls I was bawling my eyes out. A happy medium was only an appealing theory. Today I am neither happy nor sad and I guess I struggle because I worry that that leaves me balancing insecurely on the edge of two temptations. It could go either way. When I lived my life in extremes there was no question as to how I was feeling. It was painfully obvious.

I guess my mood just boils down to me not dealing well with uncertainty and wanting to know and understand. But sometimes you just can’t. And I need to be okay with that.It’s hard to understand an emotion unless you"ve experienced it. One of my LEAST favourite phrases is "You"ll come out of it." Makes me want to snap their necks...

I just keep repeating that "everything will work out in the end" over and over again until, well I guess forever. But it will all work out. Sometimes well be sad.Sometimes happy. Hopefully more of the latter. A big part of life is about understanding ourselves and growing as a person. Its not easy, and we don’t always have a way out of things. But whatever happens, you just gotta go with it. I don"t believe you always have to experience something for yourself to understand or feel it with them either. But, a lot of people can"t empathize without experience and it bothers me when people say things like, "get over it." Anyone who prescribes you a quick fix like that doesn"t know what the hell you"re feeling .One of my bestest buddies said, “There is no use in worrying. At this point there is nothing you can do to change the situation.” She is right. Whatever will be, will be, regardless of how much time and energy I put into freaking the thing out.

I want resolution now. I want to get to the bottom of things. I want to understand. Nothing is going to happen overnight, however. Nothing is going to happen for a few nights and that is what kills me. I am going to have to sit with these feelings of anxiety and fear and just have hope that they don’t overwhelm me and eat me to death.
In the meantime I shall repeat, "This too shall pass," in addition to, "Everything happens for a reason" and hope that both adages prove to be correct.

Ritesh Kotian....

Jeet... Zidd....

JEET

Khamoshi ke is shor mein,

Zindagi ke in mod pe,

Jaane kyun kabhi kabhi dam sa ghutta hai,

Apni hi rooh ki dor se bandhan tuta sa lagta hai.

Aaj khamoshi ko jeene ka maan kar raha hai,

Iski gunj mein doob jane ka ji kar raha hai,

Khushiyon ke bich gamo ko kyun dhoond raha hoon,

Ujale mein andhkar khoj raha hoon.

Apni uljhano mein uljtha jaa raha hoon,

Apne hi banaye huye chakr ko tod na pa raha hoon,
Itna ulajh chuka hoon ki ab shabd kam lagte hain,

Vaise hi jaise amaavas mein tare kahin chup jaya karte hain.

Zindagi hai ki bar bar khatam hone ka intezaar karti hai,

Hum tal diya karte hain,

Ki uljhi yaadon ko bhi humari yaad aya karti hai.

Yaadon ke is bhanvar mein fanste jaa raha hain,

Bichde palon ko bhi zindagi ki mala mein piroye jaa rahe hain,

Mala jo tute to shayad hum bhi sanwar jayen,

Naye yaadon ke moti fir se piroye jayen,

Ghonsla tuta dekh chehkte panchi bhi to sehm jaya karte hain,

Par tinka tinka kar vo fir apna aashiyan banaya karte hain.

Logon ki bheed mein akeli si pad gaya hoon,

Shayad isiliye aaj main bhi sehm gaya hoon,

Pankh felakar ab maine bhi udna chahta hoon,

Andhkaar chir kar ujale mein aana chahta hoon.

Akelapan ki is ladayi ko main hi jeetunga,

Is sunepan ko maan mein ghar na bana ne dunga,

Akhir ab yudh ka aarambh hua hai,

Aur jeetna mujhe virasaat mein mila hai

Zidd....

Andhkar ke is bhanwar ko,

Ujale ke samandar mein uthte huye,

Pehli bar dekha hai,

Shayad mere dard ne,

Bina ijazat meri manjil ko,

Ek bar phir paar kiya hai.

Akela baitha apneap ke bare mein sochta hoon,

Kya khoya kya payaa,

Iska hisab khud se liya karta hoon,

Kuch hasin pal muthi mein se reet ki tarah fisal gaya hain,

Aansuon se bane kuch dard bhare pal,

Hatheli mein lakir ban chuke hain.

Apno ke diye dhokon se tut sa gaya tha,

Par khuda ne jo mera thama haath chhoda,

Tho maine jaise bikhar gaya.

Ab ek ek kar,

Bikhre palon ko samet raha hoon,

Rothe bilakhthe apni daastan likh raha hoon.

Ab bas main hoon aur meri tanhayi,

Bas humne hi milkar apni duniya basayi,

Manjil pane ki justaju ab bhi baki hai,

Dekhte hain aur kitni kathinayi likhi hai khuda ne,

Par ye tho taye hai ki ant mein jeet meri hai,

Akhir mujhe bhi apna zidd manvanna hai.

component By Ritesh Kotian

Tute sapne.... Khushiyan....

Tute sapne....

Dadi ki sunayi huyi vo sapno ki kahani,

Chanda mama ki vo lori ma ki zunbani,

Band ankhen kar sapno ke badlon ka chehre par mehsoos karna,

Akeli raaton mein chand se apni khwahish zahir karna,

Jaise sab kuch hamse kahin chhut gaya,

Jaise koi apna humse rooth gaya.

Nidar apni raah par chale jaa rahe the,

Apne lakshay ko samne rakh uske piche daude ja rahe the,

Umeed se ek hath ko thama kiya karte the,

Dusre hath se rab ko tham liya karte the,

Rab ne hamara hath yun chhora,

Umeed ne bhi hume dubara mudkar nahi dekha.

Lakhon ki bhid mein kal bhi akela tha,

Par sapno ka daman thame badte ja rahai the,

Lakhon ki bhid mein aaj bhi akela reh gaya hain,

Par aaj na to sapne hain na hi unke hone ka ehsaas hai.

Ankhen bhi sookh gayi hain rote rote,

Jaise nadiyan thak gayi hain behte behte,

Sapne dekhna agar gunah hai tho,

Ye gunah hum se hua hai,

Dil tutna agar iski sazza hai ,

Tho ye humne zindagi bhar ke liye kubul kiya hai.

Khushiyan.....

Umangg ki kaliyan aaj kyun khili hain,

Khushiyon ne ek baar phir karvat li hai,

Labon pe hansi ankhon mein nami bade din baad aayi hai,

In ansuon ne bade din baad palkon ko dastak di hai.

Is rehsymai khushi ko bayan karna zaara mushkil hai,

Jaise door bikhre taron ko ginna namumkin hai,

Surrya ki kiran ek nayi shuruat deti hai,

Par chandni raatein bhi to sapno ko sanjone ki raat deti hai.

Is anjaani khushi ko kya naam dun,

Ho sake to badle mein ek hansi ki saugaat dun,

Gamon ke bich khushiyan dhundna mushkil zaroor hota hai,

Par yaadon ke bich,

Hansi ki ek lehar ka maza kuch aur hi hota hai.

Aankhon ke samne khushiyan bikhri padi hain,

Inhe sametne ke liye hathon ki kami lag rahi hai,

Hansti khilkhilati khushiyan mujhe bula rahi hain,

Bahein phelay mujhe pukar rahi hain,

Hath jo badaya maine to apni taraf khich liya,

Gamo ke andhkaar se nikalkar,

Khushiyon mein dhakel diya.

Ab kyun ankhon mein phir se nami hai,

Khilkhilati khushiyan aansuon ko poch rahi hain,

Ye ansu bhi bade ajeeb hote hain,

Bina puche apni rah bana liya karte hain.

Kash ye aansuon ki lehar roj aye,

Kash ye bikhri khushiyan mere seene mein sama jayein,

Par jana to inhe bhi hoga ek na ek din,

Tho phir khushiyon ka jashan hi kyun na manaya jaye.

Edit Written By Ritesh Kotian

Kyun... Faisla...

Kyun........

Kyun mere jazbaton ko koi nahi samjta,

Kyun mere pankhon ko koi udne ki ijazat nahi deta,

Kyun andheri raaton se bachana chahte hain sab mujhe,

Kyun koi mujhe akele apni rah par chalne nahi deta.

Meri nadaniyon ke vo lamhe kyun bar bar yaad dilaya jata hain,

Wo kali raatein kyun lamhe banakar bar bar samne laya jata hain,

Kyun mere maan mein uth rahe sailaab ki bhanak bhi nahi padti kisiko,

Kya meri jazbaton ki kadar nahi hai kisiko.

Apno ko apne dil ki baat to keh di,

Phir kyun meri dhadkane sunayi nai di unhe,

Meri chalakti palke kyun sehan nahi hoti mere apno se,

Aur agar ye ek sach hai to kyu nahi samjhte wo mujhe.

Meri raah to sirf maine pehchanta hoon,

Uspar chalna bhi bas maine janta hoon,

Tho kyun aaj rokke ja raha hai mujhe chalne se,

Beete lamhon ko adchane banakar,

Kyun layya ja raha mere raste mein.

Maine kisi se alag to nahi maine bhi udna chahta tha,

Apne khwabo ko akkikt mein dekna chahta tha,

Kisike khayalon mein kho jana chahta tha,

Par khwab aur asal mein antar kam hota hai,

Is antar ko pehchan na paya,

To kya maine gunhegaar ban gaya.

Aant kya hai in sawaalon ka,

Uttar kya hai in anchahe khayalon ka,

Kya kabhi koi mujhe samajh payega,

Kya is sawal ki samaj koi la payega.....

FAISLA.....

Apni hi rooh ki talash mein jalaa jaa raha hoon,

Badalte mausam main khud kho kose jaa raha hoon,

Yahi dhoop yahi chav kal bhi aaya karte thi,

Phir chav chhod maine dhoop mein kyun jayya karte thi.

Aaj phir din nikla phir raat aayi,

Kabhi khulla aasman to kabhi badlon ki ghata chayi,

Aaj fir chand aya hai falak pe,

Shayad isiliye sitaron ne apni doli hai sajayi.

Khamosh patto ki ye sarsrahat,

Kuch yaad dilaya karti hai,

Hanskar humein humari hi kahani sunakar,

Chali jaya karti hai.

Aisa lagta hai wo hans rahe hain hum par,

Par khush hoon ki unki khushiyon ka ehsaan to hai hum par,

Rona-dono Lena-dena mol-bhav to chalta rahega,

Par dukon ka ye manzar yahin nahi thamega.

Beete kal ko peeche chhod aye hain hum,

Vaha ki khushiyon ko bhi sath le aaye hain hum,

Kal kya hua, kal kya hoga,

Mujhe nahi nahi pata,

Aaj main jeena chahta hoon, aaj main ji kar rahunga,

Bas yahi hai mera FAISLA…..

Sapno ki vo raat......

Sapno ki vo raat......

(This poem is by imagining a girl an hope u all will like it....)

Raah mein chal rahi thi akeli si,

Ithlati lehrati chali jaa rahi thi ek paheli si,

Yun hi jo mudkar dekha maine,

Khayali badalon ko jab ankhon par se hataya maine,

To apni tanhayi mein kisi anjaan ko paya maine.

Anjaan hokar bhi wo apna tha,

Begano ki basti mein mera sapna salona tha,

Akhir meri andheri raaton ka wo sawera tha,

Aankhen jo band ki maine to pa liya,

Par khuli ankhone ne usse mita diya.

Unhi raahon par bar bar jaya karte hain,

Andheri barsti raaton mein jhoom jaya karte hain,

Sapno ki raah mein behak jane ka ji karta hai,

Unki yaadon mein khud ko bhul jane ka ji karta hai.

Apna aur dil ka rishta bhi ajeeb hota hai,

Dil yun hi kisiko apneaap ko saup deta hai,

Khayali chehra is kadar dil par kaboo kar leta hai,

Ki unke bina kuch bhi apna nahi lagta hai.

Uski dhundhli si jhalak aaj bhi yaad hai,

Sapno ki bochaar mein bheegi chunri aaj bhi saath hai,

Wo chehra tho kuch theek se yaad nahi,

Par aaj bhi uske hone ka ehsaas hai,

Akhir mere sapno ko aaj bhi uska intezaar hai…..

Copy Written

Ritesh Kotian

Namaste! (ye kyu?)

Namaste!

Namaste is a very beautiful word in our language having a very deeper meaning for it, Namaste means:

“the divinity within me , salutes the divinity within you”.

And when you bring both your hands together at the level of the heart, one hand stands for me, the other for you and when we bring it together at the heart, I imply that in essence, both you and me are one. Bringing it to the heart level implies love.

This bringing of hands together at the heart level and saying namaste is very powerful if done properly.

Try doing that to the next person you meet and when you bring your hands together and say Namaste, do it while looking deeply in the others persons eyes. You will feel the connection happen immediately.

In India Doing Namaste have its own mean an doing this is not teach or trained. its developed automatically inside us as we grown up. Doing Namaste is giving respect from deeper heart an in feed back we getting too, from another person.

While I was searching for a photograph to go along with this Blog, I came across this small piece of writing which I feel explains Namaste so beautifully. Unfortunately, I am not sure who the author is. Here is the piece:

I honor the place in you

In which the entire universe abides,

I honor the place in you

Which is of love, of truth

Of light and of peace.

When you are in that place in you

And I am in that place in me,

We are one….

Namaste to all of you

Ritesh Kotian

Ma GOD & Ma LOVE

God & Love

Today I am in a mood to write something about most talked subject LOVE. I don’t know what made me writing this today…..may be ma LOVE itself so here I go….(ma own belief of subject)

For me Love is an unconditional relation. The purest form deepest heart, just like mother to child……..yes purest, i.e Love relation of Radha & Shyam. Where both of them knowing the fact that they are not going to live together, they just enjoy their togetherness and when there was a time to departure no-one complained and let each other go on their way. Though their LOVE still remains strong forever.

When one day I was thinking how can I describe Love relation……. it suddenly strike ma relation with GOD. Hummmmm here some of you may not agree but as I wrote it’s all ma belief. We respect, pray & love our God…….some of us may fearfully respect & pray but it’s okay. We know God is there for you all the time you needed, you can sing, dance, laugh, cry & talk with him, for that you may not need his physical presence with you. Same way I don’t need ma Love’s physical presence whole the time, I know she is there when I need her solder, she will be with me when I need her hug n cuddle. I never put condition to ma GOD same with ma LOVE. As GOD is for everyone but he is still mine & I am his, same with ma LOVE; I know she have her own responsibilities, she is for all whoever need her but when she is with me, she is mine.

Yes many times I fight with ma LOVE….same I do with GOD, complains when I am in trouble but yeh never put conditions becoz she have her own way for me taking out of trouble or creating a new one. I want to tell many gals who expect so many things from their Love, just put a word ‘Unconditional’ in your relation & enjoy it. Give ur LOVE is place to fly and your real faith will not let him/her go away, She may go out of way but when she see ur faith she will return to you. (It’s for guys too…..guys u too follow this & see the miracles) trust on that sentence “If she is yours she will return & if not she was never yours”

Ma GOD & Ma LOVE is far from me but still closest to me.

Ritzzz

Life is all about a Game... Life gives answer in 3 ways....It says 'YES' and gives you what you want, It says 'NO' and gives you something better, It says 'WAIT' and gives you the best in its own time.... What shell i say about me... i am not in this three ....Hope some day i will been in this three...

Ritesh Kotian

Love...!! ye kya hai.. kiss cheez ka naam hai?

I have written mostly about the truth an reality which we saw around us next to us among us an was kind enough to know about a human being an their nature. Taking me as a friend... The subject/Title her for blog interested me... writes about love but is cryptic.


What is love, Pyaar, Ishq, Mohabbat ? I think we have labeled many types of human desires and interactions as love.... but the basis of all these attractions we call love is possession.

We need to possess the person exclusively for ourselves. And when we have that desire strongly, we call it love.

I think that true love...or what should truly be called love is only "unconditional love". Love which believes only in giving. You give all so that you may the object of your love happy, irrespective of whether it makes you happy. The focus is on the person whom you love unconditionally. The focus of true love is to be happy in the happiness of the person you love!

I Would like to add 2 different way of love which we can see among our iner self ...
1) If you find someone else in love with you and you don’t love him/her, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but you refused the gift you can not return, do not take advantage, do not take pain....
2) If you find yourself in love with one who does not love you be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn’t choose to rest in the other person’s heart...


Ritesh Kotian

Relationships..........................!!

Life is in community. Life is a communion, so don't try to escape from the world, and don't try to remain in a solitary life. Because the richness is in the community; you are enriched by the community, by your relationships. The more you are related to people, the more you are rich. A solitary person living in a Himalayan cave is very poor, impoverished -- because rivers of relationships don't flow in him. He becomes a desert.
Each time somebody looks into you, a river flows in. Each time somebody shakes a hand with you, an energy moves into you. Each time there is a contact, you gain something. When you drop out of all contacts, out of relationship, and you become a solitary monk in a Himalayan cave, you have almost committed suicide. You are only one percent alive. Just because you breathe, you are alive. This is a sort of death: you are living at the minimum, you are not living at all, you are living very grudgingly, you are living very reluctantly, you are living with a deep complaint that you don't want to live and you have been forced to live. You don't want this world at all: the rainbows and the trees and the stars and the people.... No, you don't want to relate with anybody.
When you don't want to relate with anybody, your contact with God is diminished, TERRIBLY diminished. When you come into relationship with a man, or with a tree, or with an animal, you are coming in contact with God in different forms. To be in the community is the only way to be really alive. Relationship is life, and relationship is beautiful.

Composed an written by

Ritesh Kotian